Things have been go-go-go for a few months now with all of the projects and teams coming though. They have left (or are serving in one of the villages) and I’ve had a chance to slow down and catch up.
In all honesty, I’ve been going and going for some time now, and I needed to stop.
December 2012, my grandmother died. She died just 2 weeks before I came back to visit. When I returned to the States, I battled against jet lag and culture shock, then went to Christmas and quickly went up the hill so I could share about my time in Thailand with my home church. From that point, I went from bible study to bible story sharing of what God is doing in Thailand and the reality of human trafficking there.
The 6 months in the States flew by, and I soon found myself in a new Thai culture (the north and south of Thailand are soooo very different) and I spent a lot of time trying to reestablish everything. Finding a community, church, learning the style of life, how to get around, etc….
Once I established a new normal in Thailand, we were flooded with short term teams coming to serve with us.
Everything that I have listed has been a blessing. I have learned to expect this lifestyle, yet once I have had a chance to slow down I have noticed I am grieving the loss of my grandmother. It has been 15 months since her passing, and I am just now starting to process her loss.
My grandma loved to cross-stitch. At Christmas, we were going through some of her belongings and my Aunt asked me if I wanted any of her started needle work projects. My grandma taught me to cross-stitch, I had to take them. I took 3 half completed projects with me all the way to Thailand for them to sit in my closet hidden away. I was too afraid to look at them, let alone start finishing them.
A few weeks ago, I took them out and just wept. I smelled her. I took out the thread and began to see where she left off, what threads I would need. It took me a few days of this emotional rollercoaster, to discover, I didn’t have any of the right colors to finish. I spent hours in the Thai China Town trying to find the missing colors. I finally found them….
I began. I wasn’t able to do it for long, yet I have been doing it a little each day. It’s been hard, yet healing.
If that wasn’t enough, we began a project in the room where I work, a puzzle piece mural of Thailand. My grandma also loved puzzles. I find it fitting.
This project was started by one team and later passed on to another. No one really wants to do this. It’s a long and tedious process of drawing individual puzzle pieces on a large wall. Yet, when no one’s around, I go to the wall and draw puzzle pieces and think of my grandma and her crazy love.