Shattered

It is pouring down rain outside and it seems to be the perfect image for how I feel inside. I cannot go into details as to why, but there are two situations that are enough to rock you to your core that happened in a 24 hour period.

I have a student that I have known for over a year and there is a chance I will never get to see her again. (If you were at my presentation in Reno, I am referring to *Pray.) Things have happened, decisions were made and she is gone. I have not had a chance to talk or see her since being back. And the thought of never seeing her again rips me into thousands of micro-sized pieces. I love her. It is that simple, yet for some reason words cannot even begin to express the deep deep love that I have for her. She was a friend when I had none. She cares for me in ways that not many know how. We’ve walked though some hard times together. I’ve had the opportunity to share Christ with her and see her come alive in Him. I could go on and on about my beautiful *Pray.

Yesterday I wrote a blog entitled ‘Hope’. I found a note I wrote for a friend awhile back and reminding him that there is hope, even though it doesn’t make any sense right now. I think I ended up writing it for me too. Despite the fact that there is no understanding and a lot of sorrow, there is hope; especially when I do not think that there is. I am trusting and clinging to hope. I’m clinging to Christ as I know He is the only one who has the ability to sort out this mess. It is so wrong for so many reasons and I feel helpless but know that I am not. I have the ability to talk to and plead with the King of Kings and the one true God about my precious *Pray and the millions of others stuck in a vicious cycle of abuse.

I encourage you to read Judges 19. It rocked me to the core, and though I have read the bible a few times through before, I somehow missed that this was there. At the end of this story of a women being raped to death, the husband of the woman who was killed cries out:

“Think about it! What are we going to do? Who’s going to speak up?” (vs 30) 

About lizolson

I love people, culture and languages! I have served in Thailand for 5.5 years helping to empower women and children who are at risk of being trafficked or who are working in the sex industry. Everyone deserves a second chance....
This entry was posted in Bible, English Classes, Human Trafficking, My Journey, Spiritual Journey, Thailand and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Shattered

  1. Tony Puccio says:

    God is a God of your hard place. Although I do not know the full extent of what you’re going through, I know God does. May He comfort you in your time of need.

    • lizolson says:

      Thank you so much Tony.

      Romans 12:15-thanks for living this out for me!

      • Tony Puccio says:

        I know what it feels like to be powerless and helpless. But such is never really the case with Jesus. I can’t tell you that I have mega faith or that I am a super Christian. But I know that God has brought me through some firey storms and some rough seas and I am still here

  2. Alexandria Reiley says:

    Liz
    I am so sad to hear your devastating news. I wish you were here so I could hug you. You could cry for Pray and I would cry for you. My heart breaks for you and all that you must deal with in your calling. All the good you do and all the progress you make and then the unthinkable, unwanted trial. It’s always so hard when we lose a loved one. We don’t always feel the hope we know exists, we just have to wade through the darkness for a time, knowing that our savior is at our side and knowing we WILL have hope restored. I wish there was more I could say, something I could do. Try to cling to the knowledge of how perfect our King is even though we cannot understand his ways. He WILL rescue you from this. I don’t know how and I don’t know when but he will use it for good somehow.
    I pray for you, I pray that Pray will come bak to you unharmed. Know you are loved and appreciated Liz.
    Romans 5:3-5, Nahum 1:7a
    Alex

    • lizolson says:

      Thanks so much Alex. It is nice to know I have this support. I can picture you holding me and as I am crying for Pray you are crying for me. Thank you.

  3. Sandy Foster says:

    Oh Liz, so sorry for your heart and for Pray’s life right now. I know that I can’t even imagine what is going on or the heart ache you feel! Jesus is our Hope and without Him some days could not be endured. I will pray and visualize His loving arms around Pray and you as you walk in this valley with Him. It is a crazy world, but our Father is never surprised by anything and He is our Love, Hope and comfort.
    Love you my friend
    Sandy

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