Mixed Emotions

I have been thinking a lot about the States recently and it comes with mixed emotions. I am thrilled to be able to reconnect with family, friends and supporters. I look forward to getting lost in a few bear hugs and enjoying a few meal traditions with some family members. Yet, if I am honest with you, I am terrified at the same time.

I really didn’t know how to express it until just yesterday (which is why I have not blogged in awhile).

On my way home from the market, I saw a woman on the back of a motorcycle with her child. This has grown to be a ‘normal’ sighting in Thailand, sometimes you can see 7-9 people on a motorbike! But what made this time unique was the fact that the mother was breastfeeding her child on the back of a moving motorcycle!

This has become my ‘normal’ lifestyle. Breastfeeding in public, families ridding on motorcycles, people speaking only in Thai, walking everywhere, bartering for the best price, 90-100 degree weather at all times, seeing monks is not a weird thing, going to 7-Eleven  a minimum of 5 times a week, using squatty potties and carrying your own toilet paper everywhere are just a few things that have become ‘normal’ to me.

And here I am about to return to the States to a very different ‘normal’. Yes, it was ‘normal’ for me a few years ago, but now that has changed. I am used to driving on the left-hand side of the road and taking off my shoes before entering any house or nice building. I bow and ‘wai’ to nearly everyone I pass. I end every sentence in ‘ka’, as it is a way to show politeness in the Thai language (but I say it too when I speak in English).

America is just a week away and I am processing through some of these emotions. I also have not been away from some of my students and Thai staff for this long and I will miss them terribly. I guess this is a good indication that I am meant to be here. This is my home and I am thankful for God for allowing it to be home for me.


About lizolson

I love people, culture and languages! I have served in Thailand for 5.5 years helping to empower women and children who are at risk of being trafficked or who are working in the sex industry. Everyone deserves a second chance....
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4 Responses to Mixed Emotions

  1. Stephanie says:

    Happy to be one of your “bear hugs”…see you soon!

  2. Julia says:

    Excited you get to go back for a while! Let me know if you’ve got some time in Bangkok, even if it’s just a few hours to grab a smoothy or something. If you need someone to process stuff with before you leave, while you’re there, or when you get back, shoot me an email or something. Love ya! 🙂

    • lizolson says:

      I’m not going though BKK this time Julia. I managed to get a flight out of Phuket through Korea to San Fran and the same back. It was cheaper as far as bag checking and I was able to get there alot faster. 😦 I do want to see you soon. Someday….

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